International Women's Day

It’s International Women’s Day on Saturday (8 March) and to celebrate we asked our members to tell us about the amazing women who’ve inspired and supported them in their therapy journey.

These personal stories are a testament to the way female relationships can positively influence and encourage women in all stages of their life, education and career.

International Women's Day promotes a world that's free of bias, stereotypes, discrimination and is diverse, equitable and inclusive.

This year it's calling for more support for strategies, resources and activity that positively impact women's advancement .

Reflecting on the women who inspired my journey to becoming a therapist brought about a profound realisation. I initially considered recognised role models, fearing that my true answer might be too mundane. However, I kept returning to one fundamental figure: my mother, Violet Freeman.

Violet Freeman, a dedicated nurse, hailed from Jamaica and devoted over 30 years of her life to Olive Mount Children’s Hospital in Liverpool. Growing up, I often witnessed my mother at work. She was a kind, caring, and strong individual who could bring both good humour and assertiveness to any situation. Her resilience was particularly evident as she balanced her demanding job with navigating a dysfunctional marriage, marred by alcoholism. She worked tirelessly because she wanted me to have a better life than she had, willing to sacrifice her own health and happiness to make this happen.

Through it all, my mother encouraged me to be independent and to pursue my own path. She never made me feel guilty for living my own life. Her strength, compassion, and unwavering support fundamentally shaped my journey and inspired my career in therapy.

While she taught me to lead with ambition and determination, she also inadvertently showed me the impact of growing up in a dysfunctional family. This experience led me to want to help others explore their options in a therapeutic space. Violet Freeman’s legacy is a testament to the profound impact that one woman’s strength and perseverance can have on another’s life.

Maggie Kafton's name springs to mind immediately when I think of women that have inspired me in my career. Initially a lecturer on the 'family systems' module at the Centre for Counselling and Psychotherapy Education (CCPE), she has been my supervisor now for almost a decade.

Maggie is essentially who I want to be when I 'grow up'! In her early 70s now, she is very much at the top of her game and constantly curious to learn more about our profession. She presents a very tangible positive vision of how to have a thriving and rewarding career at an age when many have checked out of working life.

A financial advisor asked me recently what my retirement goals were, I replied that my dream was never to retire but to continue doing what I love as long as my body and mind can manage. Maggie models this to me in a very powerful way.

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The woman who most inspired me in my journey to therapeutic training wasn't a famous celebrity or an accomplished author. She was my therapist and her name was Kate.

Kate held me through an enormously challenging time in my career and personal life. I had reached burnout, I was exhausted and I had lost my way. I felt confused and lonely on the inside and she helped me put it all into words. She helped me reach parts of myself that I was unaware of. Together we bought the unconscious into consciousness.Ìý

My time with Kate helped to alleviate a great deal of pain that I was holding on to. Fear and self-doubt gushed forth in those sessions and Kate was there to bear it all with me. The capacity for another to bear my pain with me was something I had never experienced before, not in the way that I needed. And after some time with Kate (six months or perhaps five years, I'm not sure it ever matters in the grand scheme) I began to feel better and realised that I too would like to offer some of the healing that I had received to others.

I wanted others to know that healing is possible. I now practice as a therapeutic coach, integrating therapy and coaching in my client work and the impact that working with Kate had on me feels like a good gauge of my work. If I am anywhere close to being as helpful to my clients as Kate was to me then, I'm proud to be of service.

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Before starting my counselling training, I felt like , stuck in a cupboard with limited light. I struggled with self-worth and belief in my potential. This changed when I began my BSc Hons in Person-Centred Counselling. My tutors, Joanne Richardson and Rowena Clayton became my mentors and role models. Under their guidance, I learned to counsel and accept others, as well as myself. They supported me in professionally ‘coming out’ as autistic and working creatively with my predominantly autistic client group. They brought light into my world and helped me reach my full potential.

My curiosity about creative counselling for autistic clients led me to a community of creative counsellors, founded by Tanja Sharpe. Tanja and her all-women leadership team have been a beacon of light, advocating for creative counselling interventions. They provide resources and support, and they believed in me. I contributed to their work by conducting research and writing a chapter on ethics in the Amazon Best Seller book, . Their example inspired me to advocate for my beliefs and realise I can achieve anything I set my mind to. We can all make a difference, no matter our beginnings.

Inspired by these women, I have flourished, forming and running a placement counselling service for an autism charity, and I’m completing a doctorate to pioneer a model of pluralistic counselling for autistic people. Their example helped me transform from a ‘potato with white nubs’ to believing in my limitless potential and trying to make the world better for autistic individuals.

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I first heard of the poet and broadcaster Una Marson from an aunt who used to listen to her BBC show ‘West Indies Calling’ as a way of feeling connected to ‘back home’. The show was a popular program for the Caribbean diaspora, interviewing prominent people from what at the time where the colonies.

I later discovered her heart-breaking poem Little Brown Girl which explored Una’s sense of alienation living in a predominantly white city, which resonated with me growing up in South London in the 80s. Over the years, learning more about her life, and creativeness inspired me greatly growing up. Although she died before I was born, she left a legacy my aunt held onto that was then passed on and helped shape my curiosity and expanded my sense of what was possible for me.Ìý

Maya Angelou’s 'I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings' was a book that left an imprint after reading it whilst attending a writing course. This was long before I had dreams of becoming a therapist.

From the first few pages, I was captivated by the way she wrapped words around her experience. Her poignant writing gave me a sense of things being possible outside of my bubble of experience. Maya Angelou is a wonderful example of the elder who passes down ancestral wisdom that can be carried within as a way of resourcing oneself – I often go back to her works when I feel I need inspiration or guidance.

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All I can say is that I have been incredibly blessed with having a trio of amazing women in my life that have significantly impacted me in so many ways.

From my high school counsellor in Northern California where I grew up, and when I first experienced the core conditions of the person centred approach from her, she taught me the importance of having faith in myself. In a rather tumultuous time, she helped me find a sense of calm.

Years later, when I was doing my person centred therapy counselling training at Queen’s University Belfast, my placement supervisor at an all-girls secondary school showed me first-hand the approach in action. I found the impact of seeing yourself in your own self-actualisation process so powerful when developing one’s skills. Now in Dorset, I have been blessed with another incredible woman as my clinical supervisor who has encouraged me to develop and reflect as I go through new chapters in both my personal and professional lives.

I know without a doubt that had it not been for these women playing such a large role in my life at pivotal times, I would not be here to share just how important they have been to me. And I know we all have similar stories so let us use this year’s International Women’s Day as an opportunity to thank those who encouraged and inspired us to move forward, even when perhaps we didn’t the next step ourselves.

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The inspiration of women for my therapy journey began before I chose this career. The women who raised and supported me through childhood into adulthood inspired and educated me, shaping the person I am and the therapist I have become.

My life experiences, especially the challenges in my relationship with my mother, were crucial in my decision to pursue a career in counselling and to work with children and young people. Perhaps I sought to create positive, nurturing relationships where mine was lacking.

Reflecting on this, I realise that no single woman has solely inspired me throughout my therapeutic training and career. Instead, it has been a collective of uplifting, challenging, and inspirational women, each with their own stories and experiences, who have allowed me to learn and grow.

These relationships have been vital in helping me shape, manage, and thrive in my world and work. From mentoring relationships with female friends already in the therapeutic field to female teachers in school and university, these women have been instrumental. I admired their skills and ways of being, which inspired me to aspire to their level.

These women, with their knowledge, skills, and presence, continue to inspire me to strive for excellence in the care I offer to clients and as a manager. By acknowledging strategies, resources, and activities that positively impact women's advancement, I believe that supporting and elevating these initiatives can lead to a more inclusive and equitable society.

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