Zoe Flint

I believe we learn and grow primarily through our relationships and the same applies in counselling: it is the relationship of trust and safety which enables change and growth.

Everyone comes to counselling with a different set of needs and expectations. You may need support with a particular situation, decision or relationship; you may feel stuck, repeating patterns over and over, finding it hard to break the cycle; you may constantly relive the past or worry about the future and want to be more present. 

When we struggle with recurring thoughts, feelings or behaviours, it can be useful to look at what might be going on 'behind the scenes'. We tend to avoid uncomfortable emotions and memories because experiencing them is painful, but they usually make themselves known somehow, despite our best efforts.

We may try to distract ourselves with work, social media, exercise, cleaning, alcohol, shopping, etc. Some have the additional stress of an identity which is stigmatised and marginalised in our society.

Revisiting early relationships can be invaluable. What did your parents, caregivers, school or culture teach you about life and relationships? What did you come to believe about yourself? What did you have to do to fit in or feel loved? Are you still doing it now and what might it be costing you?